MUCH2002DANCE
typically late, temporally lost in space
that's just the review
March 2002 saw the
brave Audion team take its chances with the Russian vastness
known as Moscow, which being the center of the Russian Universe
has a railway system that connects the city to Mother Russia's
environs in nine or so directions before I lost count. A proud
Russian was informative when he told me that there is only one
portion of Russia's railway system that has a transshipment
point, this being two spots in the south-easternmost corner
of mainland Russia.
Said proud Russian then invited the Audion troupe to fly out
to a spot that similarly has a transshipment point, but I told
that story in 'Quo Vadis
Tas.' The long result in the here and now? The Russian investors
have backed away from the original deal, claiming that the retooling
cost chargeback was falling through the cracks, that the cost
to ship the Russian Reference System was too high, even when
shipped by the nautical equivalent of third class or bulk, and,
finally, that the star
contributor, had written two few words, and had yet to do anything
but produce some 2 watt a/c. amplifier,
which would not be audible when a tank rolled over it, even
with the most efficient of compression drivers. 'So get stiffed.'
Russians are tricky to deal with at the best of times.
The reason for this ex-post facto revisit of the first installment
is that it was promised, although the story line has become
meagre. I had no clear sense of commitment vis. Part two, but
chose to shoehorn it in before 2003. No delay, the matter of
discussion was 2002 pertinent and it 'won't fit in 2003,' which,
ideally, is when an audio journal such as TAS should be expected
to turn around a review about anything. Software reviews often
take years. A Gielen
review took 18 years to complete, which is how old your object
of desire has to be, before you may handle it. You get the impression
that such things are de-rigeur in the circles that the current
pop crowd gather in, with ah, one (or so) exception (perhaps
only in matters of scruple, since ages aren't discussed).
Therefore, I am not at all concerned that my review of MUCH2002DANCE
is
approximately a year late. Stereo Review'd 1966 models in
1968. Terrible.
MUCH2002DANCE
had its first kick at the can via the kinky
boots artiste Lesley
Sohl who caught a glimmer back in April, the day we left
St. Petersburg and lost the CD. The Russian consortium wanted
to study the disk, perhaps distribute it to its shareholders.
The upshot is, we just got the disk back, along with some cogent
analysis. 'Even in the face of dispute, Russia's still your
friend.' Yer esteemed editor then shifted and compared, and
upon the discovery that the preferences of the Russians and
TAS staffers were similar, spliced bits and pieces of yonder
over there opinions; by so doing said ed. papier-mâché'd
'em into the essay hereunder presented and yonder'd.
The songs that are worth listening to outnumber the lame ones
by a healthy margin. This is a disk with twelve hot tracks that
you should etch onto a CD, eschewing the five worthless ones.
These two sentences are the the short version of the long, detailed
explanation of what the words "one thing well" mean
on a cold beach, mid Aral Skjoe in March. Good news? The Russians
picked up the vibe on at least eleven songs, and unanimously
decided that the album passed the tank test.
Considering how
mediochre and backward the whole continental Europe scene is
once you have left Berlin (not counting a few Dutch bands, etc.),
and how hopelessly backward the Slavic music scene is, I'm surprised
that they didn't say manna to all of the tracks. But no. Russian
high-enders demand high-end sound, too. And that means audions
no matter where you are on terra firma.
If MUCH2002DANCE
does one thing well, it does two things wrong. Thing number
one wrong is tracks eight through ten, which are lame disco
songs that would have been laughed at by the aficionados out
there that will whip out Saturday Night Fever as the best that
disco had to offer, (plus of course, More More More by Andrea
True, anything by K.C. and the Sunshine Band, and, of coarse,
the League of Gentlemen). Throw Joe Feat Mystikal's lame-in-extremo
Stutter and number one done wrong is out.
Number two is to put Nelly Furtado on to a CD that has, with
the exceptions noted above, some gripping hip-hop, rap and more
vocal lines than any other pop group with the exception of the
following: The Beach Boys, The Osmonds, The Jackson Five, and,
of course, Spanky And Our Gang, The Cowsills, and sans-dispute
the Mommas and the Poppas, when all four got going.
MUCH2002DANCE
opens with a jaunty little number about how a man measures up,
and what a man has to do in order to measure up. No doubt money,
but that's not the fright. It's the way that the message is
delivered that counts. It may drive men who suffer from obscurity
to believe that the beautiful ones are never to be found within
reach without some sort of attitude change.' That's what lines
of credit are for.' Destiny's Child serves up Bootylicious with
the intensity of a concrete splitter.
There is indeed a percussive sound that I can only describe
as being akin to a jamming signal.
Here's how a jammer works: A high amplitude, full spectrum
signal is mixed with an identical signal that is 180 degrees
out of phase, as negative feedback. The high amplitude signal
is a significant number of decibels above 0dB, the maximum
number of available decibels. The phased jamming signal is
comprise of two waves that can be up to 20dB louder, but since
the waves cancel each other out (although not entirely), there
is no apparent amplitude above say, -0.8dB. Jammers use this
technique, usually several variations of it, and in operation,
a jamming signal will switch on a constant basis between several
modes. Jamming obliterates any other wave signal, since it
saturates the audible frequency band. A most particular sound.
It's like your ears are burning and popping. I had no idea
that a telephone instrument could be so sensitive. I'll have
to be more polite during my transatlantic calls. Jamming is
not something I wish to expose my ears to. I'm quite certain
that Wu
Flingpoo would agree.
Destiny's Child use a selective version of a jammer, one
that has a circuit that permits a controlled quantity of audio
signal to pass through the phase device. A Baxandall
tone circuit can be used. No special circuits are needed for
a jamming circuit, since a low impedance, large amplitude,
phase canceled signal that can supply oscillation and attenuation
through a network can be built around any amplifier circuit.
In the 1960's such devices were used to re-channel a monaural
signal into stereo. Phil Spector used phase manipulation to
produce his well-known wall of sound.
Destiny's Child takes a steep amplitude jammer and passes
an amalgam of tailored instrumental sounds to burn the listeners'
ears for added excitement. Back in 1981, Simple Minds had
a song titled Theme For Great Cities that had to be played
very loud for maximum enjoyment. That translated into over
100dBA, in case you wanna try this at home. No need to do
so with Bootylicious. It will tingle your spine at a volume
that speaks in sotto-vocé.
Jamming has been used most effectively by Bjork, who opens
Homogenic with a song that remains within 0.5dB at all times.
Bjork employs a jamming device as a compressor to bring Hunter
within an intimate distance of zero dB, but the impression
is that the volume is much higher, well beyond the zero dB
maximum. Mix a high amplitude, phased signal, and the subjective
'maximum amplitude' is raised. Oldfield employed this technique
on Amarok to widen the dynamic range to a degree that appears
to be unsupported by the actual range reported, upon analysis.
For those of you who are wondering, a jamming device is not
a compressor. A compressor works by pushing amplitude. It
pushes (squishes) a signal up against the zero dB wall, but
goes no further. A compressor permits an an amplitude that
includes all signals. A jamming device excludes all signals
except for those that phase modulate the jamming signal. These
signals, selectively injected and perhaps controlled by a
noise gate, make their way into the mix of a song like Bootylicious.
Since jamming devices and compressors both function within
the domain of zero dB, their effects are the same, although
they affect signals in a very distant way. A compressor is
free of the steam-whistle effect produced by a jamming device,
but its slow recovery time envelopes the wave, lifting its
veil of compression slowly, permitting high frequencies to
break out from the fundamental wave. With lag times into the
seconds, compressors aren't of much use unless they are lopping
off the occasional spike, or barreling full-blast with no
end in sight.
Nelly featuring City Spud brings the backseat smokin' crack
to MUCH2002DANCE.
What's the matter with me? What's it all about... Hey, must
be da' money. A low key song. Ride Wit Me kinda reminds me of
De La Soul. Very groove, slow on the dance floor. Just the way
the Russians like it, although a heavily accented procurer pointed
to the Skuba, or perhaps the Vulga as 'cars of choice for rides.'
Old limos' are popular for obvious reasons. Automatic locks
are useful in instances where the customer doesn't want to pay.
'It's as good as the back seat of a coupe.' Coupes are rare
in Russia.
Jagged Edge's Where The Party At is like a smoothy. The band
grabs the best vocal award. This is the song you would play
for your Ma who wants to know what all of the fuss is. Where
The Party At has a tender percussion, and enough empty spaces
to make it easy. It's a nice, slouchy mid tempo number. It's
also a greeting in some places in Moscow, so our Russian pals
winked, slapped us on the back, and prodded one gentle minded
staffer, scowl plus a neck grip and a fist off to the side.
All in jest of course. French speaking Serge (the only one of
the Russians that I could understand well) undid the buttons
of his dress shirt, and proudly revealed the tee shirt that
I had given to all of our hosts. Red, hammer, sicle, etc. Across
the front were the words The Party's Over. He grinned. I felt
menaced. Our Russian hosts had a bad side, and a different kind
of bad side. Like the janus, but different...
City High's What Would You Do? is a mixed bag: The story line
is a nice spoken word bit that is followed by a refrain that
sounds great the first time, but sounds lousy the second and
third time around. To my ears the refrains sound like the same
dub. It's as if the coked up producer took the el-cheapo approach.
Nice tune driven to middling thanks to a weak refrain.
One of the anchor songs on MUCH2002DANCE
is Eve featuring Gwen Stefani. Gwen puts her best into what
is Eve's most conventional song. Let Me Blow Ya Mind Out is
hot, and lo, so is Gwen. In the video for the song, at least.
Let Me Blow Ya Mind Out is gripping, sounds great loud, and,
with all due respect to the other estimable music on this disk,
Eve featuring Gwen Stefani won the erotic experience prize,
and came within reasonable proximity to Merrill
Nisker's tension-laden, lust-satiated performance style.
'I had to give you more, it's almost been a year.'
But it gets almost better. P Diddy featuring Black Rob and
Marc Curry blaze out of the speakers with what has to be a scary
anthem for dark alley fear propagation. When they shout 'we
ain't leaving,' I get the feeling that Bad Boy For Life is a
declaration of squatters' rights. But there's something else:
I get the feeling that I'm getting slapped around in my own
living room. Throw in a bit of Throbbing
Gristle's lack of aural sanity and you're ready for a night
in a limo.
The next track, Purple Hills by D12 is dripping with eau de
Elvis Costello, self proclaimed but widely accepted King of
America. D12 sing about visiting what can only be described
as a candycane world with AMC Gremlins in service along a purple
crystal meth road. Like several of the songs on this disk, but
to a greater proportion, D12 is satirical. I wish that I could
write a song so abstracted, yet visceral when it comes to basic
things like business transactions, which, yes, si, si, is a
theme of the genre. The King would be proud. You can hear the
Costello menace in 'cuz my momma taught me how to breach contracts.'
Next on the burner is The Call by the Backstreet Boys, which
is the most mature song on the album, the most Beatle-like.
The qualities that the Backstreet Boys demonstrated at the outset
of their career (clean lyrics and presentation) are found in
The Call. Unlike the other songs on MUCH2002DANCE
The Call dwells on uncertainty, of regrettable choices,
and how significant the wrong choices can be to a person's world
view; how an act or word can end a perfect relationship. The
protagonist after the fact is a person with regrets: he has
turned a moment of ennuie-turned-relationship-killer into a
lifetime of regret, or 'what if things had been different?'
Jessica Simpson's Irresistible has attitude. Curious juxtaposition
between the rap and the song. Same singer? I wasn't around at
the time, so I'll say no. If Destiny's Child whack some guy
(into spending a house-worth of a mortgage with every intention
to shaft the dude later on, with cruelty, by launching her bootylicious
butt on to the lap of some fellow who owns a house, a couple
of cars, and a whack of debt that he's polite about), then Jessica
Simpson builds him back up again.
Sugar Jones? How Much Longer wins the award for the best transition
between the ballad and hip-hop. The song has a wall of sound
bass line that so nicely warms up the room. Ain't high end audion
grand? Sugar Jones is a breeze and her song wins the most tolerable
song to find yourself stuck with because you are tied up
in the corner and your tormentor has chosen to make you listen
to the same song over and over again prize. If I were to
choose one song to do a cover of, it would be this one. A gem.
Jennifer Lopez offers a promise in Love Don't Cost A Thing.
Although she doesn't knock you out with her vocal work, she
catches you with her subtlety, and sincerity. She is the closest
that you get on MUCH2002DANCE
to the sincerity of David
Sylvian. Love Don't Cost A Thing is sung by Lopez with the
intensity, anxiety and insecurity of a woman afraid of losing
her man. She makes her promise, and pleads self-reliance in
the face of her own insecurities, desperately not wanting to
let her lover go. There is a very real quality to her plaintive
voice that pulls her out of reach of the others in the competition
for the sincerity prize.
*Nsync's appropriately named Pop is the talent show stopper
on MUCH2002DANCE.
Pop showcases *Nsync (as if it were necessary)
as the single most talented artistes within the genre for harmonies
that are part voice, part percussion. The whole shebang, whooping
and other, reminds me of Stockhausen.
The band sounds volatile, top of form, but no longer desirous.
Kinda like the Stones' singing ' I used to love her, but it's
all over now.' The virtuosity of the percussive passages remind
me that there was a time, less than a century ago when a quartet
of male voices would be used as a single, human voiced, perfect
wind instrument. The Backstreet Boys employ the very 'voice'
that I have described here on The Call.
I am not at all surprised that the two most successful 'boy'
bands are the genius of one man, Lou Pearlman. Too bad he squished
the financial living daylights out of the two groups, and played
one off the other when it suited his purpose. Payola is still
around, and Pearlman is probably one of those businessmen who
is punching holes in the dikes of the breakwall of decency.
The Dutch knew that Manhattan would eventually sink into the
flooded Atlantic, but that it wouldn't matter, since the island
is one big slab of granite which is number one with engineers
given the task of building a breakwall. But artistes are not
granite. If it weren't for Lou's unmistakable ability to build
these boy bands from scratch, I'd offer him up as a suitable
candidate to fill the leaks that shady business practices cause
to happen.
|
MUCH2002DANCE is
a melange that, lame songs aside, is well worth the cutout
price that it commands now that 2003 is about to be breached.
MUCH2002DANCE is
the descendant of the DANCE19**
franchise. Back in the 1990's, it floundered in cut-price
stores throughout the land, waiting to be purchased by
people who, out in the hinterland, had no other opportunity
to gain access to funkadelic-style music. Perhaps better
marketing would have improved matters.
Other observations: Hip-Hop/Rap is the dominant form
of pop expression today.
If the songs on MUCH2002DANCE
are representative of the genre as a whole
then it deserves to be called pop music. It is twenty
first century music.
|
|
ed.
Part
one makes it all worthwhile
|
