In a bid to boost sagging tourism, Thistleton Council met in an unusual Saturday session to decide what the best album of the past thousand years should be. In a near-unanimous vote (though all agreed that consensus had been reached), councilors selected Throbbing Gristle's Greatest Hits, although one outspoken member expressed a preference for the 'equally brilliant 20 Jazz Funk Greats,' also by the pop music group, a view he shares with a local musicologist.

Thistleton Council and Staff hold the view that by making a declaration at this time, tourists will visit the small industrial community located in East Sheffield, north of Scunthorpe. Some local critics have disputed the relevance of Throbbing Gristle to Sheffield region, though others are quick to point out that the world famous ensemble had a great affection for the sounds and smells of England's industrial heartland. There is no accurate account of how much time Throbbing Gristle has spent in Thistleton, however, and there is some concern over the Award's cost, as the project comes at a time when infrastructure needs are critical.

It is this latter criticism that a small group of local rate payers finds itself most vocal: A suburb that was developed during the late 18th century, some of Thistleton's waterworks are over two hundred years old, and are in need of repair.

Opponents argue that even minute expenditures toward the Millennium Album Award Factory are a deviation from urgent infrastructure investments. Mayor Gentile's response of record, and the last thing that he said before entering the in camera meeting was "I'd like to spend a million on sewers, but I don't think it's practical."

After the meeting, the Mayor expressed his sense of betrayal over how other councilors had vetoed his own choice, a less recent album titled 20 Jazz Funk Greats, which Gentile believes expresses a sense of East Sheffield that the latter recording did not substantially improve upon. He did express satisfaction however, that the song 20 Jazz Funk Greats appeared on Greatest Hits, as it allowed him to concede to the choice of the other members in a codign manner.

The main portion of the moneys that are to be allocated will go to the renovation of a vacant factory located in Goole, which some cynics point out is not within the municipal boundaries of  Thistleton. Planners insist, however, that the project makes sense, since Thistleton is the largest community between Goole and Sheffield. They suggest that local commerce will be stimulated by tourism that will be attracted to the site. A Goole factory will be more attractive, planners advise, as it will offer a more rural, scenic setting than any within Thistleton's boundaries. Proponents are certain that the facility to honour Greatest Hits as the best album of the Millennium (that has now passed) will boost revenue to a greater degree than any additional repairs to the city's sewer system.

Economy critic Peter George disputes the timing, however, claiming that 2000 was the 'big' year in question, as year one followed 365 days of year zero. The majority opinion does support 2001 as the 'mill' year, although George observed that 2000 had a more vibrant party compared to 2001, with much higher revenues for the Tri City area.

Merit of Greatest Hits not an issue in Goole

Goole Mayor George Rutle stated that he knew little about the Millennium Album Award Factory initiative, but saw no reason to object to the plan. Rutle deferred comment on Throbbing Gristle, claiming to know 'little beyond Duke of Earl.'. He said that he would listen to Greatest Hits in the near future, but suggested that as a noncritical listener, he might not have any opinion with respect to its merits.

Outside of the in camera Council, the main proponent for the project is a Goole area investor who has developed the plan, with the cooperation of planners in both of the affected municipalities.

One local merchant inferred what may be the truth about this 'latest odd' manoeuvre by Council: While there is no objective on Council's part do do anything more than lease the site from its present owner to develop the ceremonial site, the Throbbing Gristle Award Factory may be another step toward absorbing Goole with the very offer that is the cry (and bane) of Thistletonians: More sewers..

Humberside, Goole presents opportunities that Tri City exploits.. Thistleton maintains Goole's system, but does not own it. Tri City relies on the trunk that passes through Goole for ballast. Lease revenues are a substantial portion of Goole's budget, and the town can access the system at a very low cost to any of its inhabitants that are situated close by the trunk.

Goole's main settlement is not situated conveniently to the trunk and has never been connected to it. The town has no plans to connect or to develop a sewer system for the majority of its residents. Much more development would be needed to make such a joining feasible, and Goole cannot develop beyond its existing boundaries until a coordinated water scheme is in place. Thistleton planned such a connection scheme decades ago, but failed to gain the right of way needed to install the trunk connection. One impediment at the time was a factory situated on the boundary line between the two municipalities.

Amalgamation

Gentile has frequently expressed a desire to consolidate and control Tri City, but has thus far failed in his bid to secure an amalgamation. He has never explained his desire for amalgamation, and many hold that it would simply be a feather in his cap.

By amalgamating the easternmost parcel of the Tri City area, Thistleton could consolidate Goole's budget within its own, and prevent further growth on the coast. Boaters who currently support the municipality of Goole through slip fees generally reside in Thistleton. Goole's own council is split on the issue, with Rutle the least capable of expressing a view on how to solve their own fiscal woes, while satisfying greater regional policies that restrict development along coastal watersheds governed by aquaculturalism.

Described as 'tight' by some, no new development is allowed that is not an integral part of a water trunk system. Many Goole residents will be faced with expensive retrofitting to comply with Crown regulations, and some clearance is anticipated as residents are 'priced' out of their homes by those that can afford to pay the cost to purify their own wastes. As Thistleton owns and maintains the pipes that pass through Goole, and supports Goole's economy through the fees that it pays to lease the lands under which the system is situated, Gentile can act like a Gentle Giant, and Rutle can slumber.

Project too Narrow

However, there was a sense of mistrust among locals, fueled by Council's choice to meet behind closed doors, and some see little value in a celebration of music by a municipality, arguing that some other symbol should have been chosen, such as boating. Others feel that the planned use of the facility is too narrow, and that the musical works of other artists should be included. Superstars such as Britney Spears might attract American tourists; that a 'Sheffield' supergroup might be insufficient to attract a level of tourism that would sustain and increase what is an investment of one million pounds annually, on its own. They point to the now mothballed Kent site in Canterbury established in 1968 to enshrine a supergroup of its time, The Soft Machine. Their Third Shrine moved into deficit during the energy crisis of 1972 and was forced to close its doors in April, 1999. Local ethnomusicologist and Cambridge Fellow Richard Woolcott believes that the sun may have set on this type of facility, and expressed regret at the Canterbury closure and the trend that it suggests. Woolcott acknowledged that he supports the Award Factory project and believes that the plan is feasible, even under the present circumstances, without Britney Spears.

"It seems likely that the juxtaposition would be disatrous. For one thing, the influence of Genesis alone would propel Spears into an entirely different sphere that would doubtless affect revenues at her own shrines. Britney's audience might gravitate toward Throbbing Gristle and there would probably be bad feelings;" Woolcott here alluding to a swap currently under weigh to obtain a shrine facility in Belgium that Bertlesmann currently leases from Electra, a division of AOL Time Warner.

Spears beachside Spurn Head, near Thistleton

The Kraftwerk shrine situated in Arendonk, near Eindhoven is undervalued due to a large number of other similar facilities nearby. Rotherham, in Sheffield's heartland, has been working on a proposal with BMG and AOL TimeWarner to obtain control of this site, and negotiations are at a critical stage. Thistleton's initiative will complicate matters if any artists from BMG are to be included on the roster at the Award Factory, particularly Spears.

Rotherham intends to convert the Arendonk shrine into a two-artist facility that will feature the works of 10cc, and Godley and Creme. "Arendok is a gold-mine for Rotherham" Woolcott notes. "The two pop groups fit well together, in the manner of say, Toyah and Fripp, or Hassell and Lanois." Faced with the question of which if any musical group could be mated with Throbbing Gristle, Woolcott suggested a long shot, choosing Tin Machine. Asked why Eno wasn't matched with Fripp or Hassell or Lanois, or even Tin Machine, Woolcott observed that he is unable to keep a straight face "in the company of the chap since I read his book, A Year With Swollen Appendages."

He acknowledged that some might hold his choice to eschew Eno as controversial.

"Gentile has had the Council since day one," former city manager John Staunton remarked. "There would never have been a closed session like this prior to Gentile and I oppose a closed meeting when core funding issues are being discussed."

Gentile was the only member of the Council to have a comment at the session's close.