Wu Flingpoo Gets Treated Like A Shit (and feels humiliated)

"He deserved every minute of it." Bystander

To:Wu Flingpoo - smokin_300b@hotmail.com (flame at your own risk)

From: Yer Esteemed Editor who has sold out, spent the proceeds, and now has a Walther PPK pointed at his most valued Scott 260B non-audion but audion inspired, etc.

Hey Wu. Please send me some controversial stuff. I started this low rent publication to motivate you to do more audio writing.g Recently, I sold the whole idea to some now pissed off investors who insist that the primary focus of The Audion should be audions, not 1960's solid scrape. The investors point to HP's latest hearing tests which, they offer as evidence that constant exposure to bombastic music played over the velvet fog equivalent of parade square amplification done wrong has turned Harry's timpanic membrane into a permanent, massively non-flexy otruberance. The investors know that you can be the 'hear apparent' should you wish assume such a burdensome obligation.

Wu Replies:

A most tempting offer... Certainly more....erm....munificent and trustworthy an offer than I got from one of the waste of skin ex-moderators at the Audio Asylum. It got so convoluted (at least in my own head...) that I can't quite work out what the heck really happened, but I think it was thus:

1) An audio waste of skin named Jack G., as a moderator of the Tube Asylum at AA, decides that he doesn't like me because I pointed out what an arrogant, ignorant, know-nothing the little Lord Fauntelroy was.

2) Late one night, while the Webmaster slept, Jack G. decides to secretly delete every one of my posts over the previous ten days. He is not very selective.

3) Much poo is flung in the aftermath, supposedly there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth behind the scenes amongst the Moderators over the "correctness" of my own and Jack G.'s behaviour. After some annoying hesitation, the Webmaster decides not to ban me, but as there is no backup in place, all my deleted posts are permanently lost.

4) Whilst this commotion is happening, three moderators make a point of contacting me personally via e-mail to guide me through the storm and offer me both advice and an inside view as the machinations and operations of the "Bored" of Moderators...

5) One of these is a character named John Eaton, who is fond of going by the monicker, "Butch", or "ButchyBoy". John is a middle-aged Vic Martini fat-bastard-a-like, only darker and somewhat more devious. He comes across like some great pal who has found a like-minded spirit in Doc Flingpoo. He regales me with tales of Jack G. going beet-red and pounding his tiny fists on the table in frustration over not getting his way with the Bored. And how this pleases him most greatly. But I think I was naive not to suspect that it was not for the wonderful reasons I thought it would be.

6) One fine day, John e-mails me to tell me that he and a buddy, also a regular AA character and perhaps also moderator, have split off AA to start their own audio BBS. I check it out, it's OK, I proceed to then totally forget about it...

"If you were interested in hosting it, I'd be on it like white on rice"

7) I get another casual e-mail from John, in response to some joke e-mails that I forwarded onto him (as I do with you, and with just about everyone else on my mailing list). He mentions an interest in breaking up his General Audio Forum and creating a specifically Tube-related one. "If you were interested in hosting it, I'd be on it like white on rice".

8) So after giving it a couple of days thought, I think, "This could be a good idea, it could spread my notoriety and make Doc Flingpoo a true audio folk-hero..." As a bit of a joke, I ask for an "honorarium", $30 a month so that I can get my own High-Speed account, in return for this hosting gig. First, I sincerely didn't know if I'd need an upgrade in equipment or connection quality to facilitate this ability to play "host", and second, my account is shared and I don't have access to it 24/7. More like 15/5, with choice times like Early-Mid evenings and the full weekends being essentially off-limits. I am asked to write an intro for the kickoff of the forum. I give John my phone number, he's based in Sacramento, and he calls me late one night. We have a great time, I talk to him for almost 2 hours on his dime... I take a few days, then write the intro. "Great!", sez John, "Your cheque for 3 months ($90USD) is in the mail!"

 

Joseph Quincy Rosen after a late night audio session. "I felt very bashed up after that one."

9) A day later, the Tube Forum is up and operating. My name is mentioned in the header for the forum, everyone sees it, whether they go into the forum or not. My intro letter is there. I am promised an introduction/welcoming by John's partner, Felix. It never comes. Seems Jack G. is a contributor to the General Board. Funny. I thought John didn't like him, and that the feeling would be mutual.

10) John tells me what a cheapskate Rod Morris, the Audio Asylum Webmaster is. "He sent out an appeal for money, which made it sound like it was needed for and would be used solely for the benefit of operating and upgrading the forums. And that if he didn't get it, the result may be the closure of the entire site!" I remember that e-mail well...it was simply a plea for money, with Rod boasting about how hard he works to maintain the site and by trying to blow us away with a technical description of how he programs his server or whatever to fix bugs and make changes to the site, etc. About how a 15 minute operation had a bug in it, and the fix required 24 hours instead... And it inferred, not proclaimed, that if money was not received, then poor Rodski would have to get an actual day job, and shut down the site... What it actually said was: "a donation will ensure the continued operation of the AA forums, and help pay for upgrades, etc. to the site and forums themselves. Your support is appreciated, blah blah blah..." What it was, according to John, and it can be read exactly as such as well, was simply Rod asking for money. It's his site, so why should he differentiate between the money he stuffs into his piggy bank or Cayman Island bank account vs. the money he actually needs and spends on his site? A bit devious, perhaps. Cheapskate? I mean, who cares??? But John is livid. He thinks this was an underhanded, deceptive money grab. Obviously he learned well, and was only jealous because he hadn't thought of it first, or been able to do this for himself and was thus jealous? A wonderful display of moral purity and outrage, and about as full of B.S. as his portrayal of himself as a really cool tough guy, who can intimidate you with his cheery stories of  beastly behavior, biker-jail-homosexuality, and the usual drinking regalia that Mr. Martini is always fond of telling us about.

Right away this bunch is up my ass.  They watch my every move, and jump on me if they think they've found  some  weakness  in my knowledge,  or worse, my integrity.

11) A few days into the pig circus, it becomes clear that not only is there little initial traffic (expected), the first posts are fairly lame and therefore boring (I'm on the cusp of doing my thing and trying to get affairs "spiced up" to whatever degree is required, as was my brief. But something holds me back...no time, I'm working for free, and why rush into this before a cheque shows up?). I sign in regularly as "Doc Flingpoo". I do not hide my true identity. Everyone knows it's me, anyways. I don't flame anyone, despite the stupid and inane postings. But the real surprise is that the few jerkoffs who immediately gravitated to this site and are now set to be "regulars" are a nasty and belligerant bunch, anarchists, but NOT free-thinkers... Right away this bunch is up my ass. They watch my every move, and jump on me if they think they've found some weakness in my knowledge, or worse, my integrity. Everything to disagreeing with me (entirely valid and acceptable) to borderline character assassination and general mean-spiritedness (much less tolerable, never mind acceptable...). I take it all in stride. I do not respond with any nastiness to the snot-nosed BS of the frat-boys. If this is indoctrination into the Web Host fraternity, I will go along with it. Once the snitty little twits see that I'm not out to censor them and won't let them bring out the worst in me, things should settle down and be OK. Then along comes this one truly stupendous waste of skin: Joe II-V. Joe II-V is sniffy that this forum, of all the five or so that exist on the site, mentions a "personality", namely, me. He seems to express fear that I am a moderator, and will "control" the forum as I personally see fit and become a Lord and Tyrant in it. Clearly Monsieur Pinhead couldn't be bothered to read my "Welcome" message. Anyways, Felix happens to read this whiner's post, and immediately freaks out. He writes a pants-wetted-with-fear kneejerk reply that OH NO! This is not that sort of forum! We don't censor, we have no moderators! Nobody will control the posters, freedom of speech is not only tolerated here, it is expressly ENCOURAGED! Sure, fine. That's what I said in my welcome message. I wonder if Felix had read it, either. He couldn't be bothered to send ME a welcome message...

12) Next day, I notice the header for the Tube Forum has been rewritten. My name has been removed from it in the process. This should have made Joe II-V very happy. I didn't give a toss, but was a bit irked. At first, I couldn't put my finger on it. I thought: "It's just my ego, I'm pissed that my name is no longer up in the bright lights..." But no, that wasn't it...

13) After a few days, it hit me. There had been no communication regarding this rewrite of the forum intro. Was I expected to just carry on as usual? Shouldn't it occur to John, at least as a matter of common courtesy, to explain that he and/or Felix felt it necessary to make my presence more anonymous in the name of increasing site sex-appeal to any and all of the hard-cases that wanted to control the forum themselves? Oh, and funny thing this, but that $90 USD money order STILL has not arrived... It might have been nice if I'd received even a brief e-mail. You know, "Sorry Joe, but we've decided that maybe putting your name on the site gave some people the wrong idea about what your role is, so we deleted it. But don't worry, we love you all the same, carry on please..." Or even: "Joe you unwashed obsessive cyclist, we thought about this based on a complaint we got from a site patron, and have decided that your presence is merely a hindrance, an impediment and inhibitor to site popularity. We have therefore decided to put a stop-payment on your inter nation money order, and by the way, go fungu yourself..."

14) Well, all I got was SILENCE. In fact, all I continue to get is, SILENCE! I decided, in the face of this, to stop posting. While I wait for the cheque, which was supposedly "in the mail" days before the Joe II-V Spanish Inquisition, I decided to just "lurk". John had asked me to do this too, after all. Supervise, monitor, oversee the site. Lurk. So, for a few days, I lurked. I checked my calendar. 2-1/2 weeks. California to Farm County. Fine. So I stopped visiting.

I could even be paranoid enough to think the whole thing was a setup

15) That was over a week ago. I thought maybe, on the outside chance, I might hear from John, wondering what was going on with me. Nothing. So I was a Web Host for one week, no charge. My name was used to generate interest in a forum, perhaps I could even be paranoid enough to think the whole thing was a setup. It would be nice to think that Felix was lukewarm to the idea from the word go, and that Joe II-V's whininess just cemented his feelings about things. Maybe John E. didn't notice that Felix had rewritten his Tube Header Forum. But I doubt that. Or that Felix and John E. had a discussion about my role from that point onwards, and John E. wasn't about to get into a fight with his partner over this. And now he is too embarrassed to inform me of the details on his own accord. The more likely scenario is that John E. is a horrible sort, and had no intention of giving me a dime from the get-go. Perhaps my mention of the "honorarium" pissed him off, but I doubt it. Sad creature that I am, I was quite willing to do my thing without the honorarium. If he had been the least bit honest with me, he could have had me happily doing his bidding, gratis, if only on a 15/5 basis and with a bit less enthusiasm with regards to time allocation for the said purpose of. But no, he himself said: "We have to get you off that shared account!" And he further offered that: "As the website grows and we get more advertisers, I'll increase your "wage" and share the profits with you, if we see that your work on the forum is bringing in more visitors". Yep, and the cheque is still in the mail...

Cheeks, -Doctor No-Poo